Wednesday, October 22, 2008

fluff and circumstrands in old duder's head

perhaps part of my blog readership problem is that i don't use gimmicks to get all of the nonyous involved, like polling everynobody's 'top 5 lumber companies north of the mason-dixon line' or 'best dead poet's contemporary society's critiques of said dead poet's least famous poem' (which i think says more about the universe we live in than even the top 2 lumber companies, but less than 'socially acceptable sideburn length's correlation to number of hard drug using congressmenandwomen'), but pardon me for having STANDARDS (common excuse for short-sightedness/egomania).

if i were to ask an either/or, it would be... (i'm going nowhere near t-rex vs. bluelips) ... okay. got one that i can comment back and forth about with myself: would you rather go see shakespeare of your choice performed by brits with 'sir's and 'lady's in front of their names on the playbill, or go see some beethoven string quartets performed brilliantly by dorks in highwater pants?

a. brits
b. dorks
c. wii tennis

that's my survey. here's the value of each as relayed to me by a yet unnamed congressman jonesin' for some blow:

a. brits
good shakespeare combines the musical aspect of spoken poetry with the great human element. alongside dostoevsky, shakespeare would partner the world's most worthy private psychology practice. kings, paupers, student-murderers, revolutionaries -- the two have the 'condition' covered. i suppose though, that the rate of rehabilitation of their patients may not be so respectable - lots of godless pricks, suicidal intellectuals, and born-again whores with imprisoned boyfriends - but they'd diagnose like there was no tomorrow.

b. dorks
the string quartet is, in the words of daniel p. christiansen, simply the finest ensemble that will ever be forced to sit in a semi-circle and read little black dots together, and cue each other with ridiculous heaving breaths and flips of wavy hair. okay, so those weren't his exact words, but you get the point. a well-executed late beethoven quartet is like learning a new language without all the memorization (no, this isn't an ad for rosetta stone) - you just can't speak it when it's over.

c. wii tennis
not much i've known is as satisfying as beating sarah and elisa, to quote a certain tv ad, "like a rented mule."

No comments: